Why Founders Suffer?
Abroad’s global research study on 1,300 visionary leaders reveals three key drivers of behind-the-scenes suffering
At Abroad, we’ve had the privilege of providing trusted, confidential support to some of the world’s most visionary and courageous leaders.
As founders and leaders ourselves, we understand the adage “It’s lonely at the top.” But why is it lonely at the top?
Our global research initiative uncovered deeper reasons why founders suffer behind the scenes. While many attribute it to long hours, stress, and burnout, our research revealed the underlying drivers of these symptoms.
After surveying over 1,300 global leaders and conducting qualitative interviews, we found that much of this suffering stems from three distinct psychological mindsets. Once identified, these patterns can radically shift a founder’s experience, improving both their well-being and the work environment for their teams.
Do These Behaviors Sound Familiar?
Take a moment to reflect on whether you’ve noticed any of the following behaviors in your role:
Resisting reality as it is
Sweeping anxieties under the rug
Pushing yourself to the breaking point
“I’ll solve the problems myself”
Setting unrealistic goals
Cracking the whip on team members
Displaying false bravado or a grandiose sense of self
Mental and emotional exhaustion
If these resonate, continue reading to understand the three mindsets that often drive these behaviors.
1. I Am My Company
Many founders struggle with the mindset of “I am my company,” where their identity becomes inseparable from the business they built.
To illustrate, think of:
• Steve Jobs → Apple
• Jeff Bezos → Amazon
• Bill Gates → Microsoft
Even if you are not a legendary founder, the tendency to identify as your company is strong. When you dedicate most of your waking hours to your venture, it’s inevitable that your friends, family, community, investors, and the press associate you with your all-encompassing role.
This mindset leads to self-centered behaviors driven by fear and arrogance. Founders do not intend to be arrogant, but they have a strong tendency to believe the company is all about them, and often feel solely responsible for solving problems, which amplifies stress and burnout. This belief limits their ability to seek help, deepens isolation, and raises pressure to meet stakeholder expectations. When the business struggles or fails, founders often internalize it as personal failure, deepening emotional suffering.
The underlying fear of unworthiness fuels this mindset, particularly in moments of potential setbacks and failure. By breaking free from this pattern, founders can separate their identity from their company, leading to a more balanced entrepreneurial journey where they open to the support that is available to them.
2. Controlling the Uncontrollable
The second mindset is the tendency to push aside anxieties and attempt to control reality.
Fear and anxiety are distinct: fear is a response to an immediate threat, while anxiety stems from worrying about future uncertainties. Entrepreneurs often experience anxiety because they try to control outcomes that are beyond their control. Suffering arises when we become attached to specific outcomes.
For instance, an entrepreneur may envision a successful product launch that attracts significant funding and customer demand. But as technical challenges arise and the timeline becomes unrealistic, the entrepreneur might push the team harder with phrases like, “If we’re not working 14 hours a day, our competitors are,” which leads to stress and time scarcity.
When the launch underperforms, the entrepreneur internalizes the failure, seeing it as a reflection of their worth because they are the company. This deepens psychological suffering and often triggers a scarcity mindset, leading to further self-centered behaviors that perpetuate stress.
3. Beating Up on Yourself
Experienced entrepreneurs understand that failure is part of innovation, which is why phrases like “fail fast, fail often, fail cheap” are popular in Silicon Valley. But our research shows this is easier said than done.
The number one challenge across our dataset is self-compassion—which measures how entrepreneurs treat themselves after making a mistake. Many founders believe they must be hard on themselves to achieve greatness, unaware of healthier ways to motivate. This self-criticism drains emotional energy and affects their ability to lead and motivate others.
How entrepreneurs treat themselves mirrors how they treat their teams. Self-criticism can lead to harshness with others, undermining team morale. This is often driven by pride, fear, and anger, stemming from feelings of unworthiness.
Without self-compassion and unconditional self acceptance, leaders can fall into prideful behaviors, projecting power and hierarchy to compensate for inner feelings of lack.
All of this is happening at subconscious levels, so it’s often difficult for entrepreneurs to self diagnose the sources of their behaviors.
Vicious Cycle
These mindsets create a vicious cycle of suffering. When founders identify too closely with their company, internalize failures, and attempt to control uncontrollable outcomes, the pressure builds. This can lead to psychological suffering, self-criticism, and a scarcity mindset. In extreme cases, this cycle can have tragic outcomes, including founders taking their own lives due to startup failure.
Entrepreneurship is filled with daily challenges, and few can endure this internal roller coaster indefinitely—especially those with pre-existing mental health conditions, which scientist Michael Freeman showed are significantly more common in founders. Eventually, burnout or depression sets in, amplifying the loneliness.
The Good News
While these patterns may paint a bleak picture, the good news is that entrepreneurs willing to do the inner work—with the support of their board, investors, and organization—can experience an entirely different reality. We invite you to review the scientific results at the end of this article from one of our coaching interventions with a group of 75 global founders.
Key Takeaways
If you’re an entrepreneur, here are some important reminders:
Awareness is the first step to transformation.
You are not alone in facing these challenges.
We invite you to share this article with other founders, as they are more than likely experiencing some of these challenges.
Your company’s failure or setbacks are not your failure. Your worth isn’t tied to the success or struggles of your business.
You can take action. Surround yourself with a strong support system, whether through coaching, therapy, or a community.
To scale your company, you must scale yourself. By doing the inner work, you can unlock your full potential and that of your company.
If you’re an investor or organization, normalizing these challenges and supporting your entrepreneur by budgeting for their mental well-being isn’t just the right thing to do—it’s good business.
